Red. No question. Music is nice, but it isn’t that big for me. But to be able to talk to ANYONE? Read ANYTHING in it’s native language and understand without the messiness of translating? That would be awesome.
Red. No question. Music is nice, but it isn’t that big for me. But to be able to talk to ANYONE? Read ANYTHING in it’s native language and understand without the messiness of translating? That would be awesome.
Steve discovers Roll Rolling one night while working through the list of music recommendations Sam and Natasha had given him. At first he thinks it’s a random ad popping up in the middle of the music video. Then he reads the comments. Nearly every one involves swearing and the term ‘Rick Roll’d.’ Google, as always, is unbelievably helpful and Steve laughs out loud to himself upon reading the Wiki page.
Sam is first.
Steve: Otis Redding is terrific - thanks for the recommendation. Found one you might like. Let me know what you think.
He pastes the link into the text before hitting send. He smirks and waits.
Sam: Steve Rogers, you Rick Rollin’ sonofabitch! Dammit, man. Who knew Captain America was such a troll?
Steve’s sharp bark of laughter echoes off the walls.
Steve: On your left
Sam: You’re an asshole
Sam: Fifty bucks says you can’t get everyone else
Steve: I won’t feel bad taking your money, you know?
Sam: That’s why you’re an asshole.
IDEK you guise.
Steve: Hey, Clint, thanks for the movie recommendations. Pretty in Pink was great. I liked this one too.
Steve carefully pastes the link in and presses send without a moment of regret. He tosses his phone on the counter and opens the fridge. Halfway through making a pile of sandwiches his phone vibrates on the counter.
Clint: U rick rolled me.
Steve: Sorry, pal.
Clint: UR an asshole. >:(
Steve snorts and screencaps the texts.
Steve: one down.
He attaches the picture and sends it to Sam, laughing to himself as he pulls a carton of milk from the fridge.
Sam: Why am I friends with you?
Steve: My senior citizen’s discount.
Natasha doesn’t reply. Steve hasn’t heard anything from her in three days, so he assumes she’s off somewhere on the other side of the world kicking ass and taking names.
He’s walking back to his place one night with a couple of large pizzas, listening to the 60s mix Sam made for him when a little blur of red and black lunges at him from the shadows. His attacker sweeps his legs out from under him and knocks him to the ground. He’s prepared to spring to the defense when he sees it’s Natasha. Steve’s laugh is cut short when she presses a pointed heel against his throat. “Dammit, Nat! You made me drop my pizzas. What the hell?”
She presses her heel a fraction closer and breathing becomes difficult.
Natasha eyes him coolly with her arms crossed against her chest. ”I’ve had motherfucking Rick Astley in my head for three days now, you little shithead.”
Steve snorts and immediately regrets it.
Natasha kicks him in the ribs before offering a hand to help him off the ground.
"Share your pizza and let’s figure out how you’re going to get Stark."
(Natasha is having exactly none of your shit, Steve.)
Despite what Tony thinks, Thor has no trouble with Midgardian technology. Humor, yes, but technology no. Steve sends Thor an email, swipes his iPod off the desk and goes out for a run, listening to the 70s mix Sam made him.
unknown number: I hate you.
Steve: Excuse me, I think you have the wrong number.
unknown number: I have the right number, Captain Rogers. Thor has not stopped singing all day.
Steve: I’m sorry, Dr. Foster.
Dr. Foster: No, you’re not. ヽ(ಠ_ಠ)ノ
No, he really wasn’t.
Steve finds an acoustic version, heavy on the sitar, of Rick Astley’s notorious hit and asks JARVIS to play it the next time Bruce plays his tea time music.
Two days later they learn that Hulk can’t sing but he can hum. Rather soulfully, he thinks as he sends a video clip to Sam.
Sam: You fucker, Rogers.
Steve: Five down. One to go.
Sam: Good luck with that one, asshole.
Steve: Better have my money ready, Wilson.
(Thor enjoys Midgardian folk tales sung in chanted verse)
Tony is the hardest by far. Steve brings pizza and vodka with him when he visits Natasha, and Clint is there too as a happy accident. He bounces ideas off them and everything he can think of just isn’t enough. They break for the night and he retires to his apartment.
He almost considers giving in to Sam when Tony gives him the answer unknowingly.
Steve is sitting on one of the stools in Tony’s workshop, drawing the Suit (which Tony was tickled over), when DUM-E beeps and nudges his arm. Steve grins and takes the washer they’d been using for ‘fetch’ while Tony mutters to himself and looks over the damage Steve’s body armor had sustained.
(“It’s impossible!” He’d wailed, looking at the large gashes in the fabric.
"Tell that to my stomach," Steve had replied from the hospital bed where his skin slowly stitched itself back together under the bandages.)
"Hey, Tony." Steve lightly tosses the washer like an extra-small frisbee across the workshop. "Is DUM-E limited to just beeps?"
"No, he has proper speakers, he just refuses to use them for anything else. He doesn’t have the AI functionality of JARVIS. He’s like a baby. A really old baby. Or the mute eldest brother."
Steve smiles brightly when DUM-E comes back with the washer.
It’s really easy to get the song onto his iPod.
It’s almost easier to get the iPod hooked up to DUM-E and get him to push the ‘play’ button once Tony had settled in.
The entire team watches through the (thankfully soundproof) glass wall as Tony shouts and chases DUM-E around his workshop.
Steve: Did it.
Sam: Pics or it didn’t happen.
Steve steps into the workshop and records the song playing as DUM-E zips around, Tony chasing him. It sends it to Sam who doesn’t reply for ten minutes.
Sam: I’m paying you in beer. BECAUSE you can’t get drunk. Asshole.
Steve: That’s Captain Asshole to you.
BEST ENDING OF ALL TIME AMG
Slaps this onto blog.
This is the greatest thing ever to exist
Sexualized Saturdays: Ward, Fitz, and S.H.I.E.L.D.’s Ideal of Masculinity (source)
Fitz isn’t the only subversive take on masculinity in the MCU, either. Think about it: almost all the male heroes have some sort of vulnerability, some moment of “weakness”, that goes against the stereotype of what it is to be a tough, strong man, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t heroes. Think about it:
- Tony Stark has a drinking problem and PTSD severe enough that it nearly wrecks his relationship with Pepper.
- Steve Rogers is chosen as Captain America for his compassion and intelligence.
- Phil Coulson is a dweeby little bureaucrat in a tailored gray suit.
- Thor loves his brother so dearly that he pleads with him to come home even after Loki invades Earth.
- Bruce Banner despises the violence in his heart that allows him to become the Hulk, and becomes a freelance healer to compensate.
- Sam Wilson is a mental health counselor whose military service was in the pararescue corps, motto: ”So others may live.”
- Nick Fury’s three chief lieutenants are two women (Natasha Romanoff, whom he treats almost as a daughter, and Maria Hill, whom he depends on to fake his death) and one man (Phil Coulson, whom he tasks with rebuilding SHIELD from the ground up).
Almost all of these characters are seen crying or close to tears (especially Cap, who is on the verge of tears during the final combat in CA:TWS), all fight in ways that don’t have buckets of blood thrown at the screen, and all value and respect the women they love and fight beside. The most notable exception is James Rhodes, an Air Force officer, but even he is shown taking care of Tony Stark, his best friend, more often than he’s shown firing a weapon.
I think this may be why the MCU is so popular among women: the men AREN’T the stereotypical strong, silent American hero. They bleed, they cry, they let their guards down, and they treat their friends, regardless of gender, color, race, or religion, as equals. This could not be more different from the blood-soaked ideals of masculinity that have dominated the screen over the last few decades (remember Rambo?), and it’s very, very good to see.
Basically, these characters behave like actual human men; maybe the best of men, but still much more like the regular decent guys you may know in real life than fictional “Alpha Males”.
Which is probably why a certain section of men prefers gritty, grimdark anti-heroes: if Fitz and that SHIELD guy who refuses to launch Project Insight can stand up and do the right thing even when they’re terrified to the point of shaking and crying, if Antoine Triplett (in many ways, Ward’s counterpart) can be both a more “traditional” aggressive operative and quietly geeky, if Nick Fury - the ultimate pragmatist - can draw a line he’s not willing to cross, these men have no excuses left for their behaviour.
Because if these flawed characters can be decent human beings and heroes, then all men have the potential for being decent human beings and heroes. Even if not all men choose to follow that example.
(Additionally: their masculinity doesn’t depend on their ability to get a date, and the relationships are depicted as… complex. It’s almost as if these heroes saw their potential romantic partners as actual human beings with lives of their own - shocking, I know.)
Also, just throwing it out there, Fury tasked Coulson with rebuilding SHIELD — but Melinda May was the one he asked to form the team (and) to watch Coulson.
by Doctor Who Parody by The Hillywood Show
To be clear, the whole thing was Rhodey’s fault.
Yes, okay, technically decorating the board they kept in the front window of Shield Coffee was Tony’s job, but he’d been busy that morning trying to convince Bruce, his fellow grad student, favorite chemistry major, and occasional drug dealer, that Dr. Sitwell was in fact secretly a neo-Nazi bent on societal corruption. Bruce seemed to think it had more to do with the fact that Sitwell had marked Tony down on his last test, which was blatantly untrue, but the point was that Tony had been busy and kindly asked Rhodey to do it for him.
This was how the bastard repaid him.
Admittedly, it’d taken him a while to figure it out. He’d been confused by the uptick of people giving him their numbers, sure; between the blocky glasses and unfortunate lacking in the height department, he was used to people either assuming he was a high schooler and ignoring him, or laying on the charm so he would do their homework. But that was fine. Sure, he hadn’t had a date in a month or two—or a couple, shut up Rhodey—but he was fine. He was great. He had Rhodey and Pepper and Bruce, and even Dummy when the bastard wasn’t spitting coffee grinds at him, so whatever.
He wasn’t desperately single.
He also may or may not have spent the past three months pining after the hot blonde art student who spent his afternoons doodling in the corner by the window, but that was between him and his dumb heart, okay? And alright, maybe between Rhodey and Pepper, since they wouldn’t shut up about it every time Hot Art Guy came in. Which was pretty much every day now, something that was both awesome and terrifying. Not that Tony did the whole nervous shtick, because he totally didn’t. He was smooth. He was charm personified.
Except, apparently, when it counted, because every time he tried to ask Hot Art Guy his name, he either couldn’t get the words out or got too many words out, babbling at the guy about the stupidest shit possible for five minutes while he made him his coffee. To make matters worse, Hot Art Guy was so nice about it, always taking pity on him by the end with a kind smile and a, ‘thanks for the coffee, Tony’, before taking his drink and heading over to his window. After which, of course, Rhodey and Pepper would needle him about it mercilessly until Nick came out to grouch at them about how this was a respectable coffee establishment and not a high school cafeteria.
Point was, Tony’s life was not one that involved a bunch of admittedly super attractive dudes passing him their number over the counter. Had he gotten some new kind of cologne lately? He didn’t remember buying anything new. Actually, come to think of it, he didn’t use cologne. Was it because he’d showered yesterday? He didn’t get around to it very often, he knew, between classes and work and the obscene amounts of lab time he was putting in lately to finish his project in time for grant reviews, but he didn’t think he’d smelled that bad lately that one shower would make a difference, he should shower more often—
“Yeah, man, you definitely should.” Rhodey wrinkled his nose.
“Was I talking out loud, or were you reading my mind again?” Tony frowned. “We talked about the mind-reading thing, it’s creepy, don’t do that.”
“Like there’s anything in your head I don’t already know.” Rhodey snorted, putting up the two drinks he’d just finished off. “Phil! Melinda!”
“I’m just saying, this is my third number in the past hour. Did I do something different to my hair maybe?” Tony mused.
“Your hair looks like it always does,” Rhodey told him as he maneuvered around him to grab another jug of milk for the steamer, “A fucking mess.”
“Thanks a lot, asshole—”
“Language!” Nick shouted at them from his office. Hypocritical bastard.
“Whatever,” Tony muttered, turning back to his customer, “Double caramel frappuccino extra whip?”
“You know it.” Clint handed over a five, looking entirely too pleased with himself for Tony’s liking. “So how goes the hunt?”
“What hunt?” Tony raised an eyebrow at him. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Rhodey making a throat-slitting motion at Clint. “What?”
“I was telling Clint, I, uh.” Rhodey pushed him to the side. “That I’m going to make his order, today, because I’m the barista who made the wonderful sign outside.”
“You want to make his girl drink, you can make his girl drink.” Tony shrugged, backing up to let Rhodey take over the order. “He always bitches that I don’t give him enough caramel anyway.”
“Just because you don’t understand my body’s need for sugar doesn’t mean it’s not real.” Clint scowled at him.
“You want sugar, buy a candy bar.” Tony snorted at him, leaning against the counter. “So what did you mean, hunt?”
Clint glanced over at Rhodey, who shook his head quickly. “Nothing.”
“Rhodey.” Tony narrowed his eyes at him while Clint darted away to safety.
“I don’t know what he’s talking about.” Rhodey shrugged his shoulders innocently, drizzling an obscene amount of caramel into Clint’s cup. “You’re the one always saying that guy’s crazy.”
“He is crazy, I caught him talking to a bird once—but that’s not the point, don’t distract me from the point—”
“Did you have a point?” Rhodey gave him a doubtful look. “You don’t usually have a point.”
“I have a point, jerk, and my point is that you’re acting all suspicious and I—”
“Oh, look, it’s your boyfriend.” Rhodey diverted. Tony glanced towards the door as covertly as possible, to find that Hot Art Guy had in fact just entered. He had a friend in tow, the redheaded one who only drank triple shot espressos. Tony was never sure if he should be impressed or terrified of her.
“Go be annoying somewhere else,” he hissed to Rhodey.
“Tell him you recommend the special,” Rhodey insisted, finishing up Clint’s drink and sticking it on the ready counter before disappearing into the back.
“I recommend that you—” Tony paused halfway through what surely would’ve been a creative and vicious threat when he caught Hot Art Guy’s eye. “Uh. Hi. Coffee?”
“Hi.” Hot Art Guy smiled, seemingly unperturbed by Tony’s complete inability to speak like a normal person. “Yeah. Could I please have a—”
“Hazelnut cappuccino extra shot, right? Not that I memorized—I mean, you order the same thing every day, so.” Tony cleared his throat, sufficiently mortified. “Uh. Yeah. Is that what you want?”
“Sounds great, Tony.” Hot Art Guy smiled again, saying his name like he always did, like they were just the greatest of pals and coming here was some kind of bright spot in his day. Tony might’ve wanted to melt a little. Hot Art Guy turned to Scary Redhead. “And one of whatever she wants.”
“Oh.” Fuck his life. “Right, because she’s your girlfriend, of course you have a girlfriend, why wouldn’t you, you’re smoking—nice, really nice, so you have a terrifying girlfriend who is—laughing. Why is she laughing? I don’t think I’ve ever seen her laugh before, oh my god, I broke your girlfriend I’m so sorry—”
“Oh, no, she’s not my—I lost a bet so I owe her a coffee, I don’t have one. A girlfriend, that is, not a coffee. I don’t have a boyfriend either, for the record, which is more what I’m—I mean, I like both but at the moment I’m interested in, that is to say I like, uh.” Hot Art Guy was the one babbling for once. Tony felt like he’d stepped into an alternate dimension. Finally, Hot Art Guy blurted, “I like today’s special.”
Scary Redhead started laughing harder.
Tony wasn’t totally sure how the conversation had jumped from love lives back to coffee. “The raspberry latte?”
“The…?” Hot Art Guy’s expression dipped into confused disappointment. “No. I meant, uh…”
“The sign.” Scary Redhead prompted to Tony, like that was supposed to make any sense.
“Right,” Tony said slowly, “The raspberry latte.”
“That’s not what your sign says.” Scary Redhead chuckled.
“It’s not?” Tony frowned, turning to call over his shoulder, “Rhodey, you shithead, what’s our special?”
“Language!” Nick called back before Rhodey could.
“Prick,” Tony muttered under his breath.
“Fine, whatever, you want the special. What’s the special?” Tony sighed. Hot Art Guy looked entirely too nervous for ordering a coffee. “I’m not going to judge your coffee taste, promise.”
“No, it’s not, uh.” Hot Art Guy cleared his throat. “You’re the special. I mean—that’s what’s on the board, anyway.”
“But you said you liked the special.”
An awkward pause stretched out as Tony tried to process what that meant.
“Say yes already and get your ass back to work!” Nick shouted down the hall.
“Um.” Tony blinked once, then twice, trying and failing to get his brain to reboot. “To be clear, you’re asking—”
“You on a date, yeah,” Hot Art Guy finished, quickly adding, “Or just for your number. We could, you know. Text first. Or hang out. I didn’t mean to pressure you, or anything, that sign is very misleading—”
“Yes,” Tony blurted finally, brain kicking into gear, “Yes. Everything. All of it. Uh. Yeah. Yes.”
“Yes?” The hopeful smile returned to Hot Art Guy’s face almost immediately. It was strangely gratifying to think that Tony had put it there.
“Definitely yes.” Tony couldn’t help smiling back. “Though I should probably point out that you’ve never actually told me your name.”
“Steve.” Hot Art Guy—Steve—reached across the counter to shake his hand. Anyone else and it would’ve been totally awkward, but his hand felt nice and warm and Tony was too busy maybe falling in love to mind all that much. “Steve Rogers.”
The top 100 Fashion Infographics for men:
1. How to tie a scarf ~ The Twice-Around Ascot
2. A visual guide to vest types
3. A packing guide to making the most of your luggage
4. How to pair Shirts with Sweaters
5. How to choose the perfect pair to suit your face
6. The Suit Shoe Matrix ~ What goes with what
7. Men’s guide to Suits & Blazers: What to wear when
8. A primer on men’s hairsyle
9. Pocket Square Tutorial
10. Men’s Guide to Dress Shoes
11. Types of Dress Shoes
12. How to tie a Bow Tie
13. How to tie a tie in 6 easy steps
14. How to fold a jacket
15. 5 tie knots to try
16. Common Suit Features: Material, Color & Pattern
17. A guide to Right Fit ~ Men’s Edition
18. A Visual Guide to the Proper Fit
19. A Capsule Wardrobe for Men
20. The Ultimate Guide to Jean Fit
21. How to tie a tie: The Four-in-Hand Knot
22. 5 Clothing Tricks Every Guy Should Know
23. Bridal Party Attire ~ Men
24. A cheat to wearing sweats outside
25. Dress shoes for the occasion
26. Guide to men’s hats
27. Common Suit Features: Lapels
28. The Gentleman’s Guide to Shoes
29. Body Type v/s Jeans Cut ~ Finding your right fit
30. A guide to pairing Tie Knots to Collar Types
31. Men’s Vintage Hats
32. What to wear for an interview
33. Signs of a quality shirt
34. 6 popular Bow Tie options
35. Suit Alteration Guide: What to ask your tailor
36. Dress Shoe embellishments explained
37. The Jacket/Coat Guide
38. Hat Styles 101
39. How to determine if your shirt fits perfectly
40. How to choose your lapels to match the occasion
41. Common Suit Features: Buttons
42. Common Suit Features: Darts & Vests
43. How to tie a scarf: 4 easy knots
44. How to wear a Tuxedo
45. 60-second guide: How to roll your shirt sleeves
46. The Mad Men Suit Guide
47. Common Suit Features: Pants
48. Dressing for the Kentucky Derby: Men’s Edition
49. How to tie the Half-Windsor Tie
50. Common Suit Features: Sleeves
51. How to fold a pocket square
52. How to tie the straight lace
53. 4 steps to a Pocket Square ~ The Puff
54. How to dress for the First Date (Men’s Edition)
55. Common Suit Features: Pockets
56. Men’s Jackets and coats ~ mapped on weather protection and formal-causal axis
57. Movember Special: Know before you grow
58. Capsule Wardrobe for Men ~ The Interview
59. Common Suit Features: Vents
60. Deciphering the invitation ~ Dressing for the occasion
61. A Bow Tie tutorial
62. A visual glossary of hat types for men
63. Hat Style Guide
64. How to fold a suit jacket ~ Method 3 of 3
65. Men’s Hat Types ~ 18th-19th Century
66. A visual comparison of necktie knot types
67. 'How to Tie a Tie' Part 5/18 ~ Bow Tie
68. 'How to Tie a Tie' Part 17/18 ~ Trinity Knot
69. A visual glossary of Man Bags
70. 'How to Tie a Tie' Part 16/18 ~ Eldredge Tie Knot
71. How to tie a scarf like Sherlock (on BBC)
72. A basic tie know tutorials
73. A Gentleman’s Guide to Shoes
74. 4 scarf knots to try out this week
75. The Knot Tutorial: Windsor, Half-Windsor, Shell & Four-in-Hand
76. Les Mustaches
77. A 6 step guide to tying a tie
78. Black tie vs. White tie ~ Deciphering the dress code
79. How to Tie a Scarf Series ~ 10 of 11: Four in Hand
80. 5 creative ways to fold a pocket square
81. Dress Shirt Collars Tutorial
82. A gentleman’s guide to collars, cuff and lapels
83. How to look dapper in a suit
84. How to roll sleeves ~ The Master Roll
85. 'How to Tie a Tie' Part 13/18 ~ Grantchester Knot
86. Anatomy of a Dopp Kit
87. How to pack your suit jacket in 6 easy steps
88. A scarf knot for The Weekender
89. The trinity knot in 10 steps
90. Modern Hair Styling
91. How to tie a scarf: the Fake Knot
92. Anatomy of the overnight man bag
93. 21 poses for your photo-shoot ~ A handy guide for men
94. Suit versatility matrix
95. How to tie a scarf: The Twice-Around & The Hitch knots
96. A Visual Guide to Shirt Collars
97. 'How to Tie a Tie' Part 3/18 ~ Full Windsor Knot
98. 'How to Tie a Tie' Part 6/18 ~ Kelvin Knot
99. How to take care of a lambskin leather jacket
100. How to Tie A Scarf Series ~ 3 of 11: Over Hand
dude, what if a prince is cursed to be a dragon but instead of being upset by it, they’re like ‘hell yeah i’m a dragon’ and they spend weeks finding the perfect decrepit castle to haunt and try to convince their fiancé to be a princess in the tower ‘just for like a week’ and everyone is like ‘we can break the fucking curse’ and the prince is like ‘but i’m a dragon.’
SOMEONE ACTUALLY EXPLAINED HOMESTUCK TO ME.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FOR MY FOLLOWERS WHO ARE NOT HOMESTUCK
THIS IS HOMESTUCK?!
Yeah it’s not so shitty now huh
okay so HEADCANON: cecil’s eyes look like this
WAIT WAIT WAIT I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING ELSE
THE MOON IN HIS EYE
ACTUALLY GOES THROUGH THE PHASES
if that was his actual pupil sometimes he would see everything, and other days he’s completely blind? that explains why he always has new interns, to help him on the days he can’t see much